When I First Held You

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Slowly they learn each other half of the story, learn to mend themselves and what could have been their family. The characterisation is outstanding and you can visualise all with ease. Ruby who we are introduced to in the present day is a breath of fresh air and helps James but especially Judith to lay some ghosts to rest. There is not one unlikable character which makes a very refreshing change!! As the novel reaches its conclusion it’s hard not to shed a tear. It’s an emotional and at times heartbreaking but equally heartwarming read which I thoroughly enjoy. I'm not sure. But when you're looking from separate perspectives on a major event from fifty-some years ago, there's a better than average chance that no two recollections will completely mesh, and when your character witnesses are mostly dead... I feel a Maya Angelou quote coming on.

Just wow! This book is one that I will remember and keep in my memory. The words, Judith and Jimmy, their story, it’s a keeper and deserves to be read by everyone! Becoming a father can be one of the most profoundly terrifying, exhilarating, life-changing occasions in a man’s life. Now 22 of today’s masterful writers get straight to the heart of modern fatherhood in this incomparable collection of thought-provoking essays. From making that ultimate decision to have a kid to making it through the birth to tangling with a toddler mid-tantrum, and eventually letting a teen loose in the world, these fathers explore every facet of fatherhood and show how being a father changed the way they saw the world—and themselves. This is a beautifully written novel which has me transfixed from beginning to end. The past and the present meld together seamlessly with the earlier timeline transporting you to a very different world to our own. The nuclear fears of the 1960s are done extremely well, the testing and protest which combines with the 60s attitudes and the consequences of those especially on Judith are done brilliantly. What emerges from Judith and James’ story is painful and sad, at times the feelings are very raw, there is grief too but it’s combined with some laughter which helps to take away some of the hurt. As the novel progresses there are huge revelations and forced undesired betrayals which are set well into the context of the times. Another thing I enjoyed was the repair cafe itself . Throughout the book there are little character vignettes that lead you down little side paths as readers and made the book such a joy to read .Pregnant and with no word from Jimmy, Judith feels she has no option but to enter an unmarried mothers’ home, give up their baby and learn to live with her grief.

I struggle to remember the difference between forgiving and forgetting, I know that you can live with one and that the other will eventually destroy you.’ Above all else, the word that When I First Held You most brings to mind is honesty. The stories these characters have to tell resonate with heartbreaking truth that is impossible to deny. I have always had friends who are much younger or much older than myself so the revelation this face to both women wasn’t a surprise to me but I hope that readers who haven’t got intergenerational friendships will now go and seek the company of the older and the younger. Anstey Harris calls on her own past in this rich and evocative account of Judith, James (Jude & Jimmy) and the people that arrive in their lives from the past, both known and unknown. James can be seen through the lens of Judith’s abandonment and broken heart, through Ruby’s optimistic and forgiving one or Paddy’s bitter and recriminatory one. Both Paddy and Judith have every right to see him in a negative light but as it transpires Paddy was the one who’s suffering was purely punitive and you can forgive him his bitterness.Judith’s had a good life. She’s now in her 70s, a retired social worker, but desperately grieving her life-long partner Catherine. She continues to mend things, just as Catherine wanted, but there is a hole in her life. Harris writes with such conviction and passion, using her own experiences as a child born to an unwed mother in the 60s as inspiration. The writing is so descriptive and flows beautifully. Each character is carefully created, with such depth and layers. Jimmy and Judith re-meet fifty years on via Judith’s ‘Mending Shop’ which fixes broken treasures. In Glasgow of the 1960s they first meet as antinuclear protesters and fall in love. Unfortunately, the story is to be no fairytale and Judith especially still carries the burden from those days. Can the story be fixed and mended and become something to treasure in their later years?